Well I went to Boston today (photos to follow) and I went to the pub again.
There's not much more to say - that's such a lie. There's so much more to say.
I've used to wonder why people used to people used to dwell on failed love and try to make the other person involved love them back. It used to strike me as odd...
"The person has said they don't want you, so why don't you just move on and try someone else. Trying to get someone to love you back with more vigour each time is surly going to be counter productive."
Obviously the words of someone who has never loved.
Unfortunately, as I sit here I've found that I've got myself sucked in to doing the exact same thing. This is a bit of a pain really. I still have no idea why people do it - but I wish I did so I'd stop doing it right at the moment. It's got to the point where it's changing who I am.
I went under a weird metamorphosis at the beginning of this university year - it rocked, I'd found someone inside myself I seemed to get on well with really well. Then I went home at Christmas, and decided that the new me didn't work at home. I was more irritable than ever, and had to hide from people as to not annoy them. This in turn probably alienated myself from the people I was hiding from some what (I'm sorry!). This was a bit of a shit.
Now, three months on, I find I'm slowly slipping back in to my former teenage self, the former self I hated so much - crap. I suppose I need to strike a balance. Humm... I'm thinking the next Ed will have to be a care free Ed, who doesn't give a crap when stuff goes wrong. Who trys things instead of trying to save himself from getting flak for letting things go wrong, by not attempting them!. That's my problem now, I care too much that I've made a mistake, and dwell on it.
It's time to not dwell on my mistakes, but to learn from them.
Humm, this is rambling rather a lot.
Posting this is probably a mistake... but I'll learn... honest :)