... most of you won't know, because I've yet to blog about it, but I've got a cold :-( I'm sure somewhere I posted yonks ago that I'd post here as soon as a got a cold so I could remember how many I'd had... - it seems like I lapsed (a quick search reveals that I had one in January I think I've done well and not had one since then). I think I was going to do the same thing with haircuts... anyways...
When I've got a cold I generally have stange thoughts about things and will talk to people in my mind when I'm in bed... it'll be people I know quite well, so I can do quite well at playing both the part of them and me... (yeah... it's called dreaming I can hear you all yell...) well not exactly, 'cause I'll be not asleep... not fully aware of what's going on, but not asleep (a day dream you all shout...). Well ok, whatever...
So, I'm lying in bed and I'm not sleeping... :-( I'm not having crazy talks with people either... I'm just thinking about one thing, which leads to another, which leads to... well you get the picture...
So... I was thinking about how I can hardly remember being a prefect at school and what I actually did, whilst looking after 1C for a whole year. Then I remembered that because I was a lazy sod I used to let the other prefect do the early morning Monday shit (which was all we did anyway) and I'd just arrive later... school started later on Monday's 'cause of staff meetings you see... I'd still be late on the Monday even though I got longer I suppose, but had a long standing agreement with the form tutor, that if I turn up late, I got marked in as ontime, and all I had to do was take the register downstairs.
So... prefects got me thinking of how I totally refused to spend my own money on a prefect badge... what's the point!? if the school want to give me one then fine... but I'm not buying one... I have a feeling my mum didn't like this idea, that her little Eddie didn't have a badge, so there's a chance she gave me money to buy it... (that said, I can't remember and have no idea where it is now if I ever did get one!?)
That got me thinking about.... Merit Badges... the bling-bling of a grammar school corridor.
Odd it may seem, genius that I am, but I didn't get a merit badge in the first year, or the second year for that matter... the third year however, woo yeah... this was of course (for all them that were there) Miss Benson, the RS teacher's fault.... bless she didn't seem to understand the value of the blessed housemark (which is what made merit badges if you were swotty enough) and she also loved me... well me and my creative use of Microsoft Encarta for RS coursework...
So yeah, after sometimes getting two sheets of 24 housemarks for a ten minute cut and paste job in the library I was well on my way for a merit badge... and I got one too... how cool was that... not that I'd wear it - 'cause I didn't have the full set... and it was sooooo ill gotten it was untrue (cue Sarah to look through her photo albums and find a photo of me wearing my "Merit 3" badge...).
Anyways... I didn't get a merit badge after then (I'm sure that they existed in the GCSE years, just not for housemarks... only for brown nosing with the form tutors - anyone care to correct me?)
So... thinkng about Merit 3 badges lead me onto... Religious Studies...
Oh how great that was... I even took it as a GCSE, mainly because there was no way on this earth I was going to do History, German or Music which were the only alternatives to me... hmmm maybe Art was also one... a major factor for this was the 50% chance that I'd get Miss Benson again and everything would be fluffy!
Alas... she left the school to go and marry an MP! I'd tell you his name but, a) I've forgotten... and b) he might find the site!... he was a Tory though. Names on the tip of my tounge! OK, so I've just looked for his name... and realised that Miss Benson was still with us in the 4th year... 'cause she did the compulsory (and pointless) RS lessons... also the election was in 1997... (OK, found his website... they've got a child in case anyone cares, but not named after me so I'm devestated!)
So we ended up with a new teacher (must have been when they expanded the RS department to 3 teachers?!)... who from the first lesson did seem to make me think she was too used to teaching in a school full of yobs! If I were at home I'd scan the first page of my new RS book in to the computer - we had to write out a list of 'rules' which even included bring a pen to every lesson (sorry to all the chavs who read this, who will find that this is news for them!)
I'm pretty sure that it was around this time when I reaslised that I didn't particularly belelive in the Father. I'm sure before 4th year if someone had asked me what my religion was I'd have naïvely said Christian without flinching (I think... it was a long time ago) ... all was about to change... I'm not sure when I stopped believing in God... I'm sure it was after Santa... must have been ('cause nobody believed in Santa in Y5 I'm reliably informed)... 'cause I remember beleiving in the Easter story at primary school (Church of England) - I don't remember how old I was at the time though. I know I used to like hymns and stuff, and the vicar dude was cool... but anything that actually happened in the church was a dull as arseholes (yeah, yeah... arseholes aren't that dull...). Not that something being dull would have made me stop believing in it... most of my degree was dull, but I beleive in that... well I don't beleive in my degree... but I belive the dull crap about resistors and ohms and stuff... (cue the wise arse telling me that they're approximations... or some such...)
I remember having many an argument about it... I remember at one point being told to draw a poster of what God means to us... a bit of group work as in the tradition in RS lessons... a bit daft I thought as it all revolved around 'us' actually beleiving in God... anyways, I managed as much as "Dog spelt backwards" and then couldn't really think of anything else to put - I might have drawn (badly) a picture of a dog. It could have been around the same time as the "Love is... nothing in tennis" stage... I might have imagined making that one, I don't know... I remember someone else making a "Life is... an STD" poster... oh the angst of being 14.
Then that got me thinking about God's way of telling me I should be a Christian by me seeming to only find Christian girls attractive... I remember being disheartened when at uni a girl I liked told me that she could only go out with a Christian man because she only wanted to go out with someone who she could marry. That was a bit of a downer, although probably for the best - she spent ages and ages and ages and ages trying to get me to convert... I even went on a one-on-one course to try and find Him, but it was like looking for a needle in a giant haystack - maybe I could have lived a lie...! Anyways, she's married now, just in case you're wondering. No, not it's not Sarah, who's also Christian... and also married...
So, where am I going with this bloody ramble? Well, I just don't know... you see I've almost, in the 45 minutes I've been remebering this caught up with my thoughts... and now I have no where to go... until I turn off the computer and ramble begins to fill my mind once more...
Night!