Potty Page

October 31, 2005

Bit of a random weekend!

Woo. The best kind of weekends.

Erm, Thursday night was meant to be a quiet one, but it ended up being a bit drink induced - and I ended up doing an impromtu shift at the pub 'cause the landlord was a little worse for wear having met up with an old friend earlier in the evening!

Two rather large girls came in to the pub to play pool - to be honest they looked rather dykish and I had to hide my giggles as the truck driver from West Brom (who's always a good laugh) started quite loudly saying 'Jolly Green Giant' whilst they were ordering drinks - clearly it makes more sense if you hear that the larger of these girls was wearing green. It then transpired that he quite likes large women - something to do with riding the ripple...

He went over to them at the end of the evening and offered to buy them a drink - which they accepted and then decided that he was going to play doubles at pool with them... this involved muggins here becoming part of a double.

It later appeared that one of these girls quite likes skinny men... so I went off and started to clean around the pub, avoiding them as much as possible. Whilst putting the final glasses through the glass wash they came up and started talking to me at the bar - the Jolly Green Giant was moaning about how she wanted to go to bed and sleep - and the other one with skinny men on her mind wanted to stay.

Of course, I was trying to side with the lady in green and get them to get the hell out... the landlord (who thought I had an affection for fat ladies) suggested I get them a drink - hell no! He got them one instead.... grrrr...

So, now I'm stuck with them, without a pub to clean! Oh no!

It was at this point that the landlord and I got invited to their Halloween houseparty on the Saturday... the landlord made the mistake of letting them know that Friday was his birthday and that he's probably be dead on Saturday...

They eventually left and I told him how naughty he'd been keeping them in the pub... then I get told off for leading them on... I ran away to clean the pub for fuck's sake... how's that leading them on!?

So, Friday was the landlord's birthday - so that meant a late night/early morning drinking session. It was mighty amusing when the truck driver from West Brom turned up after a night on the tiles - bladdered to buggery.

Now, coming from West Brom, he sounds a bit, well you know... Brummy. He doens't like being called a brummy though... oh no.... not at all. It's apparntly the equivalent of being called the c-word.

So it didn't go down well when one of the other people there (who he's never met before) was over heard calling him a Brummy c-word from the otherside of the pub... when the 'caller' left, the West Brom guy left through the other door to wait for him... luckily I alerted the landlord and he went out to intervene.

Earlier in the day the ladies had come in to give birthday boy some little cakes... erm, buns really I guess. They reminded him about the party on the Saturday... "Ed, you're definatly coming to the party... you're my lamb to the slaughter"... Great...

When I came in on the Saturday evening to go off to the party there was a bit of a raucousness going on at the bar- all at my expense... apparantly I'm now going to get my end away with one of these birds and I'm being asked lots of questions like "So, how wide a load is she? Wide enough to have flashing warning lights?" Grrrr...

Some people dressed in 'scary' clothes came in the pub and managed to trick or treat a pint of beer! They then invited us to the party they were going to... hmmm... two parties and one night... let's do 'em all...

We popped around the girl's house to find that it was all kinds of too quiet... so didn't even go in. The landlord now wanted to go back to the pub instead of party number two - mainly as we'd basically be gatecrashing it as the people who invited lived in Suffolk! We went and knocked on the door anyway... "It's the people from the pub, come in"

To be fair this party was also a little dead too - not helped by the fact that we didn't know anyone there - 'cause most of the people we're from Suffolk it seems! Ah well - it was good to talk to randoms about random crap - that said working in the pub's quite a good thing for that too!

So, there we go. Probably wasn't all that an interesting read but at least it's a post. Innit.

Posted by Ed at October 31, 2005 4:21 PM | Ramble |